October 8

Source: Conan O'Brien Show

October 8, 1997

Conan O'Brien: We're back. My next guest tonight has appeared in the films Virtuosity and The Quick and the Dead. Currently you can see him in the critically acclaimed film LA Confidential. Ladies and gentleman please welcome Russell Crowe.

Russell walks out waving to the crowd. He shakes Andy's hand and says something to him, then shakes Conan's hand. He looks at the audience and sits down.

Conan: I came to see you before the show to tell you how much I liked the movie and what struck me was-this is a classic James Ellroy novel about LA in the 50s. The US is full of out of work American actors and for the two key roles they go with 2 Australian guys.(Russell gives a sly smile, looks up and rubs his chin)Do you think that there are a lot of people angry about this in LA?

Russell: It was the director's idea that when you saw these two characters he didn't want you to assume that they would be the two people that you would follow.

Conan : You and Guy Pearce do excellent American accents-you'd never know that you weren't American when you see the picture.

Russell: There is a lot of Australian history in terms of Hollywood. Errol Flynn was an Australian ... er Chips Rafferty, John Mellion, er Peter Finch, er Mel, er... (snapping his fingers pretending to search for the surname)(audience laughs)

Conan: Yes he's French Mel Gibson.

Conan: Is it easy to do an American accent? As I can do an Aussie accent.

Russell: Oh you do?

Conan: You just say Put another shrimp on the Barbie..(this is in a terrible accent which sounds more Cockney than Australian)-Doesn't that sound exactly like it to the untrained ear?(Audience laughs and cheers. Russell smiles and giggles. He rubs his ear and looks away)

Russell: But we don't have shrimps in Australia we have prawns.

Conan: (laughs) but you do say "That's not a knife THIS is a knife (from Crocodile Dundee-in another terrible accent) You say that constantly.

Russell: (laughing and humoring him) Maybe in restaurants.

Conan: You are allowed to hit me at any point.

Russell: (pointing) Can you ad-lib in an Australian accent?

Conan: G'day mate! How was that?

Russell: Going well, going well. (clearly enjoying Conan looking foolish)

Conan: Is it hard to do an American accent? I mean I am just being a clown.

Russell: Not necessarily. As long as you can be graphically specific. With LA Confidential it was very easy as they come from LA. But on The Quick and the Dead with Sam Raimi he changed the location of the man's birth about 4 times. First Alabama. Then he said-"No no!" (Russell doing an impression of Sam Raimi-scrunching up his face and eyes and making dramatic hand gestures with a broad accent) "Texas now Texas..."

Conan: Was Gilbert Godfry directing this movie?(as the impression sounded like him) Audience laughs and so does Russell )

Russell: Well Sam and Gilbert have a lot in common you know.

Conan: I was also-let's talk about your character Bud White. He's a very violent character, physically violent.

Russell: (in mock surprise) Really? (smiling)

Conan: It works great and I love violence.(Russell laughs out loud) I'm all for it. Hey we need more violence in the states.

Is it something where you had to get special training? How to hit? Do those defence moves?

Russell: There is always a physical part of the character but fortunately LA and the LAPD have had th e spotlight on them for a long time-it is the centre of the film industry and they have been using film as a medium to teach the new recruits and to promote themselves since the 40s. Actually but.( smiles and puts his finger to his lips) actually th e 1940s training film that we saw I don't know what has changed in the way perpetrators act these days but if you actually apply these moves that they train you to do you wouldn't get very far.( he turns to Andy and then back) It was specifically a police film.

Conan: What is a move that they teach you?

Russell: Do you want to be a prop Andy?

Andy: Sure, I usually am. (audience laughs) Oh come on, he opened the door and I walked through it!

(Russell laughing) We got 'em.

Russell: Now get into that perpetrator mood on the face-what's your motivation? (standing and smiling)

Andy: (Andy mugs a face) You lousy screw!

Russell: (giggles and they stand)Yeah that kind of thing. You have either got to be ... The only place that they still use this move is in San Francisco!(He is standing directly behind Andy-he crouches and places his right arm between Andy's legs, grabs his left arm and pulls it through in a police hold. The audience go wild.)

Andy: Oh, Officer! (in a gleeful tone)

Russell: (faces the audience smiles and gestures) This is actually a trained move.(he laughs and pats Andy on the back and sits down)

Russell:Perpetrators don't.

Andy: Is this "I am so incapacitated because you have one hand pressed up against my nether regions?"

Russell: (touching his ear again and smiling) Yes either that or it is an odd kind of friendship!

Conan: Your nether regions?! What's going on Granny?

Russell: (laughing out loud)

Andy: It's TV so I can't say what I really want to say.

Conan: (laughing)

Russell: If Johnny can say rodent's rectum you can go anywhere you want to.

Conan:That is an actual move to put your hand up there?

Russell: Yes, so we didn't actually use those moves-leg flicks etc-there was lots of stuff about getting people's ankles, getting people to the ground ,but when you watch those films, I mean the perpetrator, whenever the policeman goes near them just go perfectly still. (His arms are gesticulating now as his enthusiasm grows)

Russell: They don't try to get out of it or run away.

Conan:Oh no one tries to run away!?

Russell: Oh course, not from the LAPD.

Conan: We have talked about how you came from Australia. You weren't always so successful. You had some hard times and strange jobs. What did you get up to in Australia?

Russell: I had a number of strange jobs. The worst gig, straight out of high school.I worked with a guy out of a band and I had to introduce the band every night and I had to say the jokes that he had picked for me to say and do an intro for him. I was also a bingo caller. Do you want me to do an intro for Max?

Conan: Yeah do the same intro you used to do.

Russell: (sitting up and taking a deep breath. Loudly and rapidly Russell launches into a mock DJs accent. Cadence building up to a crescendo finish.) Alright if you want the jilly jive bust around we got the sound, 850 pounds of sound-we got more bounce to the ounce, here's a little knock down 1950 nifty that going to take you high-right up there in the sky where the air is rare and the seagulls dare. It's going to make you flap your wings do crazy things-here come the kicks from those groovy chicks.If you want to move it , if you want to groove it-if you want to get on, get up that night -this is the thing the real thing, the ring-a ding-ding, he's the king and that is a fact, this man is going to take you to heaven-put your hands together for Max Weinberg and the Max Weinberg 7.

The orchestra plays a big "ta da". Conan is clapping and going "yeah" and the audience are wild, clapping and cheering .

Russell: (takes a deep breath and smiles) I just adlibbed that one(Grins and puts his hands to his head)

Conan: You have a job my friend if you ever get tired of being a movie star-that would be great thing to have at the start of the show.

Russell: I was a bingo caller for a while there too actually.

Conan: really?(audience laughs)

Russell: Well when I was young I just kind of took jobs however loosely it was associated with the entertainment industry-that was the job that I wanted to do. (his hands are together and he is shaking them for emphasis)

Conan: Wow I'm in entertainment!

Andy: But you didn't talk as fast as that when you did the bingo-coz people would have a heart attack ( pretends to be a bingo player) JUST SLOW DOWN!

Russell: I was working on this resort island on a ferryride just outside of Auckland, New Zealand and they would have this bingo every Sunday. This thing where one ferry was coming in as another was leaving. 5 games for a dollar. When I started working there as the "Entertainment Manager" with my purple blazer. (obviously making fun of himself) I changed it round and decided to go for a dollar game and 5 bucks for a special game so it became like high stakes bingo. (laughs) So the crowds got bigger and bigger on the Sunday and more and more of the blue rinse set would come and be shaking. (he does an impression of an excited addict who can't control himself) Getting involved in the high stakes bingo game. It was fun for a while and I was skimming off the top as you have a wont to do.(laugh)

Conan: (pointing) A ha! This is what this interview has been leading up to. Take him away fellas.

Russell: giggling

Andy: Part of the bingo Mafia

Russell: But one particular Sunday I was a little bit too bored with what I was doing and I started changing the rhymes. This is sacriligious when you are a bingo lover. They are always the same. Number 1: Kelly's eye. 59: The Brighton line. Toot toot. Number 88: 2 fat ladies. Wobble wobble. Number 22: two little ducks. Quack quack.

Conan: Yeah all the classics.

Russell: I'm doing this stuff over and over again every weekend and I started to make it up. Number 1: up yer bum.

Conan: This is a theme for the evening.

Russell: 8 came out and I said 1 fat lady you know ... 18 up the bum of a fat lady. It was at that point that the management decided that they should have a word with me. (laugh) Unfortunately I had to leave that job.

Conan : Things worked out great. LA Confidential is one of the best movies I've seen in quite a while.

Russell: Thanks. Coming from you who said that the last film you saw was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.(shaking hands and laughing)

Conan: I told him that in private ... I love that film ... the car flies and its fun. Russell Crowe ... it is very cool to have you on the show. Please come back again soon.

Russell: Thanks mate. Yes absolutely.